It's Alright (Say Her Name)
by DoubleMMia
Summary: Michonne loses herself after Andrea, seeing visions and hearing voices of the past she cannot erase. And the only thing that stops her from losing it completely? Beth Greene. But the Governor is still on the loose and if Michonne wants to survive Beth's going to have to find a way to save them both. Michonne/Andrea, Michonne centric, character death.
1. Part One

**It's Alright (Say Her Name)**

**Summary: **Michonne loses herself after Andrea, seeing visions and hearing voices of the past she cannot erase. And the only thing that stops her from losing it completely? Beth Greene. But the Governor is still on the loose and if Michonne wants to survive Beth's going to have to find a way to save them both.

* * *

She's heavy in her arms.

A weight that was so unbearable that not only did it weigh her arms down but it settled on top of Michonne's shoulders too, it was a weight no sane man could carry and yet Michonne was not a man but a woman and at times like this she still wasn't quite sure if she was sane or not.

She snorted at herself. Of course she's not sane, nobody is in this world where the dead roam and the living die to carry on the cycle as though it's always been that way. And maybe it has if one looked close enough, but that isn't what matters right now is it? It's never mattered and now? Nothing matters.

Michonne's knees threatened to buckle as she carried the wrapped body towards the now cleared field of walkers towards the make-shift graveyard that held the other bodies of the ones Rick's group loved (not her group, not now, not anymore), but she trudged on as best as she could under the sweltering heat of the sun until she reached her destination and only _then_ did she allow herself to buckle under the physical and emotional strain that bore down upon her.

Andrea's body is small in death, all wrapped up in white and tiny like she belonged on a pedestal somewhere and not in the dirty hole Michonne would have to prepare for her soon enough if she wanted to be back at the prison before dark settled in. Maybe she didn't want to go back, maybe it would better to let this darkness swallow them both up because at least then would the woman feel at _peace_.

The tears are already there but it still didn't stop the anger at shedding them course through Michonne like wildfire. It's an anger that is fuelled by guilt and the questions of what ifs that had once been there previously at the back of her mind, yet was now propelled to the front as if they belonged there with her for the rest of her life as a constant reminder of the mistakes she had made.

She hated crying even before the whole world went to shit. Her ex-husband had called her a pussy for it and Mike had always teased as gently as he possibly could about her being emotional but here she was again, crying as if that would change everything that had happened in the past.

Andrea's smile as she presses the gun to her temple haunted Michonne as she sat in this hellhole of heat and bright sun, the weather so vibrant and bright that it made her cry out in frustration because what right did this world have being so peaceful and happy when her old companion's body hadn't even been cold for 24 hours.

How could she make sense out of that? How could the world even make sense of that? Nothing made sense and nothing mattered; it was a deadly combination that had Michonne pulling Andrea's cold body wrapped up in sheets tighter against her chest with a grip that screamed how terrified of letting go she truly was.

The sheet slips the tiniest fraction to allow her to feel the silkiness of golden locks against her skin, it's a terrible combination considering how sweaty her palms are and how the sweat caused the strands to tangle in between her fingers but all it did was cause Michonne to hold onto the cold body tighter and bury her warm face against an ice-cold body so that all she can feel is tiny shudders in the blazing heat that bore down upon her to soak her back in sweat.

It's not fair, she realized with an anguished cry coming from her throat to echo into the clearing of the prison gates, it's not fair that she had to die to allow Michonne to open her eyes and see what was in front of her, it's not fair she died before Michonne could tell her everything that needed to be told. It's just not fair.

She didn't quite know how long she sat there with Andrea's lifeless body pulled into her lap and her nose pressed against the beautiful blonde curls but when she finally opened her eyes to look around the field it isn't lost on her on how the sun is starting to sink lower and lower, signalling to Michonne that maybe it is the actual time to get moving if she wanted to head back to the prison with at least a little light to guide her way.

"What happened to letting this damn darkness swallow you whole?" A voice called to her on the little amount of wind available in the area, said voice being familiar to her as a song that was now old but never forgotten even with the whole world collapsing around her. "You putting your crazy ass plan on hold now?"

Michonne knew who it was before she even turned to glance to her right to see a tall, hunkering man wearing nothing but denim shorts and an overly large dress shirt with sandals to boot; it was an outfit that held nothing but fond memories of times at the beach where the sun had been an old friend and not the enemy that it was now and the man watching her was someone she could feel and touch and not look at from afar like she was right now.

She ignored him regardless and silently moved from under Andrea's limp body, placing the woman gently down on the grass and pressing a kiss to her old companion's head as she slowly got up from her knees to stare down at the white sheet that held the object of her every waking dream and nightmare, and how both were so beautiful and terrifying that they left Michonne not knowing if she wanted them to leave her forever or haunt her until her final days.

Footsteps; not the slovenly muffled scratch of gravel that signal walkers, no, more so the repeated step of someone not wanting to be here but coming along any way which certainly made them more foolish than expected considering Michonne had made it perfectly clear that she wanted to be alone to bury Andrea.

The thought made her hang her head and breathe in deeply – even in death she didn't want anyone else to share her, and Michonne still didn't know if that made her possessive, protective or insane when it came to her dedication to the now deceased woman. Perhaps it was a little bit of all three.

She risked a glance to her left to see the figure of none other than Hershel's youngest daughter Beth Greene making her way over to her with two shovels in each hand, her footsteps halting every few steps due to the weight of the things she had in her hand and her brow creased in frustration at the slow process of her making her way over to the field where Michonne stood.

Michonne felt herself wanting to leave to help the younger girl but that was before she had noticed the second shovel in the girl's hand and that in particular would not do, so she remained where she stood and stared down at the still body at her feet (swallowing the thick lump in her throat) until the sound of shuffling feet faded away into nothing but heavy pants of exertion and the single choking cough that signalled the other girl's thirst probably before Beth herself knew of it.

When she finally did look at Beth it was no surprise to see that the girl looked extremely intimidated by her even before she had actually spoken, yet that still didn't make it any harder for her to speak to the blonde girl when she felt so bitter she could hardly give a damn if the girl was scared of her or not.

"I only need one shovel," she said, eyes hardened in annoyance as she stared down at the grimy fingers wrapped around the rusted handles of each shovel.

Michonne was surprised the girl didn't flinch at how fast she took the shovel from the girl's hand but it did look like the blonde had a few tricks of her own as when Michonne tried to take the other shovel to throw on the ground she was instead greeted with the Greene girl side-stepping her, her face stoic in a way that made the warrior feel uneasy in watching her.

"My daddy said I should try an' help you," Beth said with a shrug, eyes averting Michonne's own to stare at the covered body only a few steps beside the warrior. "He said you shouldn't have to do it on your own."

That caused Michonne to snort louder than she intended as she narrowed her eyes at the blonde girl, one arm crossed over her chest whilst the other sunk the shovel into the ground next to her with one massive swoop of her arm; the impact of metal on dirt causing a huge sound that made Beth flinch away with her lip already being chewed by her teeth with an anxiousness that reminded Michonne of…

She sighed; not everything needed to be about Andrea. "I told the group I didn't want or need their help on this."

Beth still didn't look like she was going to go; in fact her face just became more and more hardened despite the betrayal of nervousness that was clear in the girl's eyes and her voice as she spoke once more. "Daddy said I should and…I want to help. You, and the group. I want to help."

Michonne growled low in her throat and turned her back on the other girl, her hands on her hips and frustrated tears in her eyes as she looked down at the body in front of her; wishing silently that she had enough strength to properly tell the girl where to go yet she knew that she could not do that that even if she tried. She despised the fact the girl was with here at this point but she also knew that if she yelled at the girl then it would do nothing but cause trouble.

Still, she would at least voice her annoyance. "Do you do everything your father says for you to do?"

"You don't have to be mean about it," Beth said with a tone that was fiercer than Michonne had expected of the girl despite the quiet volume of her voice, said voice being the reason why she turned around with a glare to see the girl still staring sadly at the white sheet behind of her. "We all cared about her and…"

"You didn't know a damn thing about her," Michonne snapped at the blonde girl before she could stop herself, advancing until she towered over the younger girl. "What gives you the right to say that? _You didn't know a damn thing!_"

A flash of defensiveness appeared in the younger girl's eyes, a flash that Michonne wasn't prepared for at all. "I know you're angry but taking it out on the people around you won't bring her back! Daddy said that after we're done we can wake up early tomorrow to perform a sending off for her, so if we do this quickly then it won't be so…"

Michonne had turned her back on the girl again, cutting her off with a grunt of anger that echoed across the clearing before all fell silent.

"You ain't gonna be able to dig that hole by yourself without collapsing sooner or later," the voice to her right told her, annoying and familiar and when she looked she finally was able to place the name to the face as Mike Pritchard stared back at her with a frown of disappointment that had only appeared on his face whenever her temper and pride had gotten the better of her. "Might as well let her help, least your blonde friend got a grave."

"Shut the hell up," she growled in answer, a new wave of shame and guilt overtaking her and making her body slink down to rest against the handle of the shovel she had dug into the ground, anything to keep her up and going. "This is different and you're not real. You're not real."

A smile graced Mike's face, genuine and friendly in a way that Michonne knew she didn't deserve no matter how friendly it looked like. "Real as you want me to be princess, but what were you expecting? For me to be tall, blonde and a lady to boot? Looks like you're trying not to think about her."

The words made her eyes sting and with a snarl she ripped the sword from her sheath and threw it at the image of her boyfriend, eyes widening in fear as slowly Mike disappeared from view and all she could see was her sword lying in the long grass, the sun glinting off the blade nicely in the sun.

It was in the silence did Michonne realize that Beth Greene was still here, her fears answered when she looked over her shoulder to see that the blonde girl was staring at her with her lips pursed together in a firm line and her eyes narrowed intently to the floor to try and avoid eye contact; it was a look that made Michonne sigh and cup her forehead in annoyance.

Everything always seemed to lead to questions no matter what she did, but now it was Michonne who was in charge and with another quick glance back at the Greene girl she pointed at the place in the ground where she wanted Andrea to be buried.

"Start there."

* * *

The ceremony is one that Michonne didn't go to no matter how many times Rick tried to get her to leave the safety of the prison. It didn't sit right with her though, the fact that she hadn't gone, but she couldn't find the strength that Andrea had brought with her presence to actually get up from her tattered mattress and make her way towards the ceremony along with the rest of the group.

In the end they had all gone apart from her and Carl, the boy saying he would rather honour Andrea by placing a bullet in the head of the person who had been the reason for her death in the first place than singing hymns – and from the look of unease on Rick's face? Perhaps the line of whom to blame and who was the cause was starting to blur the lines between family and foe – yet Michonne couldn't find it in herself to actually consider the boy's words.

He was wrong regardless, he would not be the one to kill the Governor and his allies no matter how hard he tried – Phillip Blake was hers and she would carve out his heart so slowly that his screams would echo for miles and miles until everyone knew what had occurred and why. Michonne would make sure of it. The Governor was hers and hers _alone_.

The group came back just as the sun was about to set and with a quick glance at them Michonne could see that they had all gotten teary during the ceremony, the pang of pain at seeing them like this making a way to her heart and thawing it all the more at how such a pain did not deserve her any longer no matter how much it hurt to see everyone in the same pain as she was.

But they weren't experiencing the same pain, she reasoned after a few moments of solitary silence, they hadn't spent almost nine months with the blonde, they hadn't protected her when her fever threatened to break through and silence her completely, they hadn't been there to search for pills and medication to try and help her companion feel better – they had no clue, they hadn't been there.

She counted the number of steps and clicks of crutches before she was joined in her dingy room by Hershel and the youngest Greene girl, both of them wavering near her door as though they were afraid to come in and disturb her. Perhaps they were at that, she knew she wouldn't blame them for wanting to leave her to her own thoughts to lessen the chance of retaliation if they tried to talk to her.

"You missed out on the burial Michonne," the old man stated plainly and when she looked up to address him properly she was only somewhat surprised to see his bible in the very palm of his hand as he placed it down on the little cabinet drawer next to where she slept. "It was very beautiful, something fitting for Andrea. We would have liked you to come and share a few words, but I understand why you'd not want to. Maybe you could visit with…"

"You don't know what would have fit her," Michonne cut across the old man, eyes glaring up defiantly to stare into eyes of electric blue with an intensity that she hoped rivalled if not overcame Hershel's in this battle of fire and love loss that still burned her deeply inside.

Hershel's eyes only softened when in truth Michonne had expected them to harden in anger, but no, it seemed as though everyone was either wary of her or pitied her. And she still didn't know which one was worse.

"If you'd like to talk," were the old man's departing words as he turned on his crutches to hobble away, leaving Michonne and Beth together in the tiny cramped room of the cage the warrior had imprisoned herself in.

Michonne met Beth's gaze briefly before she lowered her eyes to the ground and clenched her jaw to stop herself from saying anything she may later regret, and by regret she meant it would cause an even bigger rift between her and the young blonde girl than before and that was most certainly not needed now when everyone was still so on edge after everything that had went on.

Her eyes threatened to flicker upwards to acknowledge the blonde girl more fully at the sound of her clearing her throat, but Michonne decided to ignore it as much as she possible could by focusing her attention onto the floor even when the Greene girl finally started to talk.

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you," Beth faltered for half a moment, her voice cracking under the emotional strain that sounded so painful to Michonne's ears that she couldn't help but look up at the girl with her heart squeezing painfully at the sight of the girl gripping so tightly onto her right arm that she was sure she would eventually bruise if she didn't stop; and yet the girl couldn't stop herself from speaking, "I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Michonne bit her lip as she continued to stare at the younger girl, refusing to comment even when Beth's eyes pleaded her to do so; it would not be fair on the girl for Michonne to answer, especially when she was so angry that she feared that if she did actually answer it would only upset the girl more, and she had a very bad feeling she had already hurt enough people this past month; including herself.

Beth shrugged a few moments after the silence became too much, her voice finding a strength in it that still shocked Michonne no matter how many times she heard it. "It's from the bible."

"I know," Michonne stated plainly with her own shrug of her shoulders, eyes burning into the girl's with an intensity that made the other girl look the other way with nerves before returning to her original stance with head held high to meet Michonne's gaze with a determination in her eyes that was so very weak it only made it harder for Michonne to look at her.

Beth made her way over to sit on the small crate in the corner of Michonne's room, yet before she even got half way she hesitated before falling to a complete stand still right in the middle of the warrior's room, looking so small all in white with her little beanie hat tucked so low that it covered her ears; it was almost as if she was watching Andrea if Michonne closed her eyes tight enough and willed the memories of her companion dying in her arms away.

"I'm just," Beth started before once more she faltered, her lips being worried by the top of her teeth as she tried desperately to find the words. "I'm just trying to make you feel better because, because…I think what you need right now is a friend."

Michonne can't deny that the girl isn't sweet for trying, but she lost the only friend she ever wanted a few days ago, so this whole attempt? It hurt more than it possibly helped, and she voiced that instantly with a tone of subtly hidden malice that left a vicious taste on her tongue.

Beth took only one look at her then, eyes wide and innocent which throw Michonne off completely once the look is strung along with the words that tumbled from the girl's mouth.

"I think Andrea was much more to you, she was our family but to you she was…She was more you know? She was…"

Michonne gritted her teeth and clenched her fists behind her back. "Get out."

The blonde girl only nodded sadly before she departed with a small wave that shouldn't make Michonne feel even more terrible than she already feels but it does, and now she's stuck in a constant state of guilt over two things now; it made everything blur and when everything blurred she hallucinated and when she hallucinated she grew more and more disappointed at the lack of blonde and blue eyes that she wants to flicker just behind her eyes.

* * *

Michonne didn't hear Andrea speak to her until what she suspected was two weeks after the day of the blonde's burial, maybe more than that but she had stopped counting days and had instead started to count memories and regrets and how many she wished she could change if she had the power to do so.

It isn't like Mike's voice that suddenly appeared one day, it's more of a sound in the wind as she's clearing the field with the Greene sisters - she hasn't glanced at the youngest since the whole incident in her room but she can feel Beth's gaze on her everywhere she goes and she doesn't quite know what to make of it – with Maggie on her left and Beth shooting at stragglers from behind the safety of the fence that blocks the walkers away from her.

The sound is strong but quiet and when she heard the chuckle in the wind it's also a reminder of what she lost and that in itself distracted her to the point that she almost dropped her sword as she cleared the area of the last walker, eyes wide and ears perked as she moved from side to side to try and locate the destination of it.

Maggie called her name but she can't actually hear it, too distracted by the noise that she had wanted to hear for what she had only told herself for only a brief second, but that was before she actually heard it because now she wanted with a fierceness that tore at her heart and set her off running across the field towards the entrance of the prison.

The chuckle is louder as she neared the entrance, the sound enticing her further and further until she can only press against the wired fence with her hands clutching the thin wires with a strength that cuts her hands even as she pressed her face into the metal, searching still for the laughter that she had heard only moments ago and wondering why it's suddenly disappeared when she had been so sure she had heard it…

A sigh left her at the sickening realization that it wouldn't come back, not this time with her mind fully alert and focused on hearing it again. God was a cruel judge and with the shit she had gone through for the past few weeks? It was looking more and more likely that God probably resented her.

The thought of God brings her mind back to the Greenes, specifically the youngest of the family whom Michonne only had to look back at behind her shoulder to see that the blonde had joined her sister in making her way over to her, the very sight of them making her panic in such a way that the metal only digs in deeper as she clenched her fingers around the metal even tighter than before.

"You never think about me," the chuckle is long gone, replaced with an antagonistic tone of anger and fury that made Michonne bite her lip to stop herself from sobbing aloud because she had been so certain that when she finally did hear her voice (it had always been a matter of time after all) that the voice would be one that would bring a smile to her face.

How wrong and foolish she had been.

She found herself resting her forehead on the links of the fence, eyes downcast to stare at the dirt and long grass, anything to stop herself from thinking properly, anything to stop herself from actually focusing.

"You left me there, you never explained," it's accusation after accusation and the worst part is that it's all the truth and she didn't know which one hurt more, the fact that it's coming from _her_ or the fact that it's a truth that threatened to rip her in two, "you didn't try, you didn't think of me, you never said it, you never said it, you never said it Michonne."

The voice was so loud and Michonne's vision was becoming blurrier and blurrier until finally the hilt of her sword drops from her hands and she whirled around to try and keep on her feet, feeling so unbelievably dizzy that she didn't see the two forms running towards her before it was far too late and she fell to her knees with her head covered by her arms in a futile attempt to block everything out, to block absolutely everything out until all she can hear is the silence.

Hands grab at her and she allowed them to, eyes remaining shut as she's lifted from off the ground to make her unsteady walk back to the prison with her blurred vision still keeping her from seeing everything but the waves of yellow that dance in the breeze.

* * *

She awoke to soft hands wiping a cool towel against her head, soothing away the raw, painful heat that had been present when she had been outside the prison's gates. The blue eyes and blonde locks aren't lost on her and for a moment Michonne thought she was back in that meat locker with her old companion and friend, and so because of that she found her hand moving upwards to touch the delicate, pale skin with a laugh spilling from her lips.

It had all been a dream. Everything had been a dream.

"You're alive," Michonne chuckled with relief, hands tracing the soft contour of the jaw hovering above her with a reverence she knew she would be hearing off the blonde woman later because of course she couldn't show emotion around her companion, not without getting a teasing jape that hey, she actually did show emotion.

The press of lips against her forehead made her exhale deeply and wrap her arms around thin shoulders, pressing the warm body into her own as she breathed deeply to try and calm her racing heart as the hallucinations of seeing this woman above her die rushed through her head on replay; yet it was all a lie. She was here and now Michonne had the chance to say everything. Everything she ever wanted.

The body is pulled back from her and with a grunt Michonne reached forward to grip at hand nearest to her, holding the blonde woman whom she had spent 8 months with to a standstill.

"Andrea don't go just yet, I have to…" Michonne found herself trailing off, anxiety robbing her of words as she struggled to find the right ones to confess everything to the woman whilst she had the chance, to make things right, to correct wrongs, this was her chance and for that she needed the right words.

"Michonne," the voice was warm and sweet and so agonizingly familiar that when the warrior blinked hard and her vision returned to normal she had to trap the feral cry that wanted to leave her throat as tears of anger and resentment made her eyes burn at the person above her.

Beth Greene stared down at her, eyes wide, lips bitten to shreds and her breathing heavy as she hesitated placing the now dirty towel over Michonne's forehead.

"Michonne," Beth said again, her voice stronger now as she placed the rag down to press Michonne back down onto the mattress she had been lying on to regain some more rest. "Daddy said you need to lie down and rest, he said somethin' about the sun cookin' your brain a little outside. Makin' you hear stuff."

The warrior processed the information slowly, eyes flickering to and fro as she examined the room and noticed that not only was the overbearing figure she had expected to be here (she had hoped to be here) was not actually here, but there was also the problem that she couldn't see her sword anywhere.

"My sword," she stated with a hacking cough that came out of nowhere but forced her to sit up regardless and have Beth's hands rub at her back to help her, the same hands that Michonne had come so close to pressing against her lips to confess all she could to someone who wasn't even here anymore apart from in her damn mind.

Beth smiled sweetly, moving to the side so she could reveal the sword that she had laid down behind her. "Daryl went and got it for you once we all got you back in here," her voice turned quieter, almost as if she was ashamed. "We were all really worried about you, so we made sure none of the people from Woodbury saw you; it might scare them you know?"

Michonne didn't know but she didn't want to give the satisfaction of her saying that to see Beth's expression change so dramatically to herself, there was no time for guilty pleasures and it had taken her this long to realize that these talks with the young girl had become one – one that she now hated.

Silence passed between them both, not an uncomfortable silence of sorts at first, more so a silence of understanding as the warrior watched the Greene girl twist the rag over a bowel of water to get rid of the dirty water stained on the rag in the first place; it was an understanding because Michonne had a feeling that the young girl understood (probably more than any one apart from Rick) how she felt right now and so remained busy to avoid any more confrontation.

Beth was a clever girl and so it didn't shock the darker woman when Beth only took one look at her, dropped the rag into the bowel and started to make her exit to pause at the doorway and shoot Michonne a glance that made the warrior's stomach tighten at how from this angle she could just about see a longer, more defined jaw in replacement for the young, curved jaw of Beth Greene; a comparison that made Michonne bite the inside of her cheek at how ridiculous it sounded.

"If you ever want to talk about it," Beth said with a firm nod that made her hesitant smile look fake against her face. "Then you should just come out and say it. Some things get better when they're said you know?"

Michonne gulped loudly and settled her eyes to the floor, ignoring the way Andrea's shadow seemed to pass to and from her doorway like a phantom come to haunt her.

She did know that, she knew that better than anyone.

"You never said it." Andrea whispered in her ear before she too was gone and Michonne was left in a room with only her thoughts for company.

* * *

**Part 2 coming soon.**


	2. Part Two

**Part 2**

* * *

**S**he lowered herself to the ground, feeling the way her muscles pulled themselves taut on her arms and legs as her nose brushed the hard stone prison floor and how the slight twinge of effort was just another reminder of everything she had managed to lose was due to the fact she hadn't been strong enough.

When was the reminder and pain ever going to go away? Beth had told her once that it wouldn't with a look on her face that clearly said it wasn't meant to be sympathetic or anything else of the sort, it was just the cold, harsh truth and Michonne still didn't want to believe it no matter how many times it became obvious.

When had she become such a believer?

With a large exhale she lowered herself to the ground again and counted to ten before hoisting herself back up.

"How many is that?" Beth Greene asked with nonchalance that made a small flicker of a smile appear on Michonne's face before it was wiped away by her own thoughts taunting her; how could she still find it in her to smile? It wasn't right.

Michonne breathed in hard through her nose, eyes refusing to move anywhere else but at the stone floor of the prison, "lost count."

Scruffy, greyed trainers appeared at the corner of Michonne's right before they disappeared to get replaced with the sight of two, pale legs crossed together as the Greene girl sat beside her, watching her work with her lower lip caught in between her teeth with such curiosity it made Michonne wonder what the girl truly wanted from her.

It didn't take long for the girl to answer her unspoken question. "Andrea saved my life you know?"

She stilled in her routine, halfway in between touching the cold floor with her nose and halfway in between lifting away from it; stuck in the middle, stuck on pause – it was a similarity that didn't go ignored and therefore was the reason why Michonne found herself unable to speak as the words she heard every night before went to sleep was once more whispered in her ear.

'_You never said it.'_

Beth took her silence as her answer and continued to speak, her hands tapping the ground as though she was beating out a somewhat solemn rhythm. "She saved me from mam back when we were all together on my family's farm; she stopped her from biting me, if she hadn't of been there then..."

Michonne glanced at the blonde girl to her right, allowing herself to sink to the ground and rest her cheek on her crossed arms as she looked at the Greene girl. "She was good at that," she muttered, eyes drawn to the small rag that had been tied over the girl's left wrist with a small chain of the cross tied to the very ends. "Good at saving people."

"Yeah," The blonde girl's smile brightened into something that more resembled a grin as she nodded in agreement, "she really was."

Michonne smiled bitterly in reply, getting up from where she lay on the prison floor to dust herself down and grab at her blade that she had placed on the table they used to place most of their weapons; she planned on using those weapons soon enough of course, mostly on the Governor and the little amount of men he had left.

Beth's eyes followed her and with a grunt she slipped the strap that held the sword and its sheath over her head, shouldering it with such a practiced ease that it didn't stop her from breaking away from the young girl's gaze.

The silent conversation between the two was broken however when the sound of crutches banging on the stone floor resounded through the room and only seconds later did Hershel appear, his usually kind eyes steeled into an icy metal that almost made Michonne drop the gun she had been handling when he directed his gaze at her.

She steadied the gun in her grip and placed it back on the table, eyes moving away from the older man's with something that felt like guilt starting to swirl in the pit of her stomach; the worst part was that she had no idea why when Hershel had no reason to make her feel such guilt.

"Daddy, are you okay?" Beth had made her way over to her father, blocking Michonne's sight of the old man when she risked a quick look before returning her gaze back onto the rifle she held in her hands. "Does your bandage need to be cleaned again? I'll go down to the creek with Karen and get some water to clean it if you'd like."

Michonne flinched at the memory of one of the Woodbury survivors, it hadn't been easy seeing them move on into the prison without expecting to see the blonde-haired woman at the helm leading them in and it especially hadn't been easy seeing Karen rifle through bags of clothes brought from Woodbury that from memory Michonne had recognized to be Andrea's.

(It had ended with her losing her nerve and snapping at the dark haired woman, grabbing the bags of clothing from Karen's hands and walking out of the prison to burn them. They had been Andrea's in life; they would remain so in death.)

Rick had called her irrational for not thinking properly about it just before he said he understood what she was going through, and so Michonne had accepted his scolding with only a brief promise of not to do something like that again. She didn't know if she could keep that promise but it was one she made regardless, anything to stop the mindless noise that was forever in her head.

Hershel's voice (softer than expected) interrupted her thoughts, pulling her attention back to the real world and onto the man that was now starting to make his way past his daughter to head in her direction.

"That's alright sweetheart, it's kind of you to ask, but I'd like some time to speak to Michonne," the old man said, each word accentuated by the subtle click of his tongue against the roof of his mouth that only stilled when he finally stopped right in front of her, his gaze of steel threatening to pierce her open if she even looked at him wrong. "Alone."

Michonne placed the gun down, the impact of it hitting the table masking the sound of Beth leaving the room and the clacking noise as the old man's crutches pulled him along until Hershel could sit at the bench beside her with his face titled up to stare at her, bright blue eyes large and solemn enough that she sat down next to him with a sigh and awaited for whatever judgement he wanted to give her.

"You still hearin' things?" He asked her with a tone in his voice that suggested immediately to Michonne that was not the thing he had come to talk with her about but had asked her to throw her off the scent. It didn't work.

She grunted in response, not willing to answer the man properly when she had made it clear many times before that her thoughts about the woman they had lost were her thoughts alone; thoughts that she did not wish to share with anyone – even the youngest Greene girl who seemed to insist that all they did was talk about Andrea, an effort Michonne didn't know if she liked or disliked when she had time to think about it late at night with her dreams full of darkness instead of blonde curls.

Hershel sighed at her silence, a hand coming up to stroke his long, white beard before he rested it on the space between them on the bench; a telling that instantly set Michonne on alert even before the man opened his mouth to speak once more.

"Beth's not Andrea," he said breathlessly, looking pained at the mere thought that he would been actually going through this conversation with her and Michonne couldn't blame him, this conversation was already turning out to be a living nightmare, one that she had no idea how to get out of. "And as her father I'd like to remind you of that before me and the rest of the group start to worry."

She got the hint of that and stood up from where she sat at the bench, dark eyes boring down deep into Hershel's before she stood up to walk away, knowing it would be best to avoid a fight altogether by simply taking her frustration out on something that wasn't alive.

"Nobody is," she growled, shouldering past one of the Woodbury survivors to make her way out into the fields.

* * *

**"Y**ou need to stop it," Michonne found herself growling as she paced up and down the long grass of the fields where the dead lay, her eyes focused on nothing but the lopsided cross at the end of the row of crosses. "I can't sleep because of you – you need to stop it you hear me? _Stop_..."

Silence answered her like it always did and before it had been enough to calm Michonne, but now it only infuriated her as she walked up to stand at the very front of Andrea's grave with eyes narrowed to try and keep the hot tears that burned there to remain.

Was this how her life was going to be now? Forever running back to Andrea's grave when she couldn't handle it? Did that have to be such a bad thing? Did it have to cause the group to look at her with such sympathy that it threatened to burn her?

Before she could think any more of the situation she was interrupted from her musings by the sound of someone calling her name, said sound drawing her attention upwards to see the curly haired woman they had rescued from Woodbury staring back at her from behind the chain-linked fence with such a sad expression on her face that it made Michonne growl and kick at the dirt underneath her feet.

Karen must have noticed her aggravation considering the annoyed tone she used when she spoke again, "you know ignoring me isn't the sound way of getting me to leave you alone!"

Michonne growled again and before she realized it she was already walking towards the now stoic-looking woman, her long strides angry and irritable as she stopped in front of Karen with her lower lip pouted out in a barely contained fury that made her arms shake as she rested her hands on her hips, her stance insolent.

"What do you want?" She asked with barely contained malice, eyes searching the woman's face to try and figure out her angle, "I'm busy."

Karen snorted at first, her face contorted into a look of mockery, however softened just before Michonne could say anything, her speech and thoughts already overridden by Karen's own words: "looking at graves isn't being busy in the normal standards of today's society."

The warrior immediately bulked and the words to give Karen a tongue-lashing was just on the very tip of her tongue before she caught wind of the two Greene sisters coming down from the prison, her eyes lingering on the similar blonde locks of the youngest for a mere moment before Michonne moved her gaze onto the darker-haired woman in front of her, eyes challenging Karen to say any more of what she obviously wanted to say.

It was a look that had meant to challenge, but Michonne would be lying if she said she had expected for Karen to actually meet it head on.

"People are getting worried about you and your friendship with the youngest of those farmer's daughters," she muttered with dark eyes that told Michonne everything she wanted to know without the other woman even realizing – that everyone practically knew, that they thought her unstable, that she had...that she had used Beth as Andrea's substitute, "just saying that you need to distance yourself a little otherwise people will start to talk and when they talk about this people might start to get angry, I mean you're a fully grown…"

"Enough!" Michonne snarled with her hand already coming upwards to grab at the handle of her sword, the way they shook however was enough to suspend the motion and with a gasp of pain she withdrew her hand back to her side as the sensation of a hand being pressed against her back drew a heavy breath from her lips.

It felt so intimate and loving that when Michonne looked over her shoulder to see nobody there she let out a choked noise and pulled away from where she was to turn her back on Karen, feet carrying her through the long grass towards the cropped area where Andrea's grave still was; the place where Michonne truly found herself feeling safe.

Not at peace though, never at peace.

A press of lips against her cheek that felt so real almost brought her to her knees in front of the grave, hands shaking and curled into fists to stop herself from doing anything else that might harm either herself or the people around her.

Everything felt wrong.

And then everything seemed to be a spectacle of noise as with little to no warning the sound of gunfire filled Michonne's ears, mixing with the screams of the Woodbury citizens and the yells of Rick and Daryl from above telling them all to retreat back into the prison.

Michonne's eyes were set ablaze as a bullet came soaring past her, the gunshot frying her brain as she propelled back to the time where she had looked into eyes of sapphire and had watched as they had turned lifeless and grey with just one press of the trigger and how her heart had felt so heavy she had been unable to move for what had felt like hours, too attached to the warmth that lingered on the body underneath her.

Everything she saw were like snapshots of a camera. One second she was glancing back at Andrea's grave, the next she was looking over at the prison to see the retreating civilians of Woodbury, after that the forest that was hidden behind the chain-linked fence and after that…

She drew her sword and rushed towards the gate entrance that would lead her to the main prison's block outside, her eyes burning as sweat trickled down her face and got into her eyes, blinding her momentarily as bullet after bullet followed her until she reached the fence with hands grasping blindly at the chains to allow her entrance.

Beth was there and her hands grazed the underside of Michonne's elbow before the warrior could stop her, holding her back from her destination as bullet after bullet littered around them, kicking up dirt and dust into Michonne's face as she glared out into the horizon with her eyes hard and her cheeks puffed angrily.

"Michonne we need to get inside!" The young farm girl insisted, her fingers gripping tightly onto the warrior's arm to tug her along the compound to where Tyreese and his sister were leading in the large majority of Woodbury citizens that had massed outside, "Michonne quick before…"

Michonne had had enough of this and with a defying grunt she wrenched her arm away from the youngest Greene sister and started to make her way forward, rushing down the gritted path of the prison with screams of her name following her and the sound of gunshots echoing in her ears.

The barest of touches grazed up and down her arms as though to calm her but instead they only entice her forward, her lungs burning and her legs aching as she raced down the dirt path towards the entrance of the prison with her sword by her side as she shied away from the bullets still heading in her direction.

She's either going to die or get wounded, she realized after a bullet skimmed past her ear and the sound of mocking laughter reached her just before the sound faded away and the figure (the lone figure, the figure who haunted her, who made her blood boil, who had taken her away from her grasp) turned their back on her to walk back into the brush on where they had originally come from.

'_Don't you fucking run from me,_' she thought with a rage that left her burning white hot and for her veins to feel as though that rage was some inferno inside of her that was on a low burn even as she finally took her steps forward and reached the locked gate, breaking the lock with one slam of her sword handle against the lock to give her the incentive of slamming the gate open.

The gate behind is fastened shut almost immediately after her by her own hands and then before Michonne can listen to reason she's running towards the woodland that surrounded the prison, her sword gripped so tightly in her hand that she couldn't even begin to comprehend where the sword started and she ended for she was one with it this time, complete in a way that Andrea had made her feel before the bastard who she was running after had torn her away.

What surprised Michonne the most was that it didn't take long for her to catch up with the clear signs of the man's tracks, the large imprints of footsteps in the mud, the crushed leaves and branches that had happened underfoot…

It made her suspicious.

Did he want her to follow him? Was that part of his plan all along, to lead her to a spot and then finish her off? And was it really such a bad thing in the first place, when all could see when she closed and opened her eyes was Andrea's face and the words of _'you never said it'_ imprinted into the lids of her eyes?

The crack of what sounded to be a whip against bark made the air around her practically rattle and caused her ears to sting and eyes to widen, desperately searching for the sound even as her feet carried her through the woodland where the long grass and nettles tugged at her legs to stop her from moving further.

It felt like when she was walking away from Woodbury again, the wet grass had made her almost slip a couple of times and the wind was rough against her face each time she took another few steps forward; at the time it had only made Michonne angrier but now that she thought about it she wished it had played more on her guilt than her frustration with Andrea's unwillingness to listen to her.

Though she supposed Andrea's willingness might have improved a fair bit if she had actually opened up her damn mouth to tell her what had happened, what she had seen…

Just another regret Michonne couldn't escape even if she tried.

The wind blew in her face again, whipping up her dreads in a haphazardly fashion until she could feel the cool breeze on her neck and hear the whistling of the wind and another familiar cracking noise of _something_ that sounded like a whip.

_Crack!_

Michonne spun around with a yell, sword drawn on the sound and ready to slash at whatever had made it but before she could even attempt it she found herself falling still, her breathing heavy as her wide eyes met with none other than Beth Greene's own, the surprise at seeing the girl almost making her drop her sword as she took in the sight of the Greene girl staring right back at her, gun in hand.

And all she could see was Andrea.

It made her features crumble in defeat and for a dry sob to get caught in her throat as she took in the sight of the beautiful blonde locks that adorned the girl's head, not shown fully by the white beanie but still so terribly familiar it would be ridiculous not to mistake it for Andrea's, and the eyes too…They were enough to break her heart.

"Michonne," Beth croaked out her name like a prayer, her voice sounding so utterly terrified that it made every single fear, every single hatred, every single sorrow vanish from Michonne for a brief moment to be replaced with an overwhelming amount of affection that made her lower her weapon, eyes wet with tears.

She had never wanted Andrea so much in her life to help her, to help her understand what she should do now that she had Beth Greene in front of her but The Governor somewhere behind her – she couldn't risk Beth's life this way but at the same time she couldn't allow Andrea's murderer to escape unharmed.

'_I helped in killing her,'_ had been her constant thought since coming back to Woodbury with Andrea's quickening cold body wrapped up to rest in her lap, _'I left her there alone, I didn't go back for her, I didn't ask her to stay, I…I never said it.'_

The problem was that Michonne knew she was paying for that, paying for it more slowly than she would make the Governor pay for it once she found him and she intended to kill him slow, to make him feel so much pain that he would beg for the merciful release that death would bring him.

Part of her didn't think it was fair that he would get that peace before her but a larger, more desperate part was just so distracted with the thought of ripping the Governor limp from limp that even if it only brought her peace only briefly it would be more than enough to last her until death itself wrapped its arms around her and took her for its own.

And that was what fuelled her decision to turn her back on the young Greene girl, moving forward through the woodland to follow the Governor's tracks: "Go back to the prison Beth."

A large gust of wind hit her in the face and made her growl as she halted at the force of it, hands shaking in frustration.

"Stop," she uttered under her breath, placing one step in front of another and ignoring the whispers that were starting to resound at the very back of her mind as she slashed away at grass that clung to her now dampened jeans, "I'm not coming back to that prison without his head."

The sound of branches snapping underfoot and leaves crinkling made Michonne pause and glare at the approaching Beth from over her shoulder, "I told you to go back to the prison before the group wonder where you've gone."

"When I left to run after you Daryl and Karen were already coming behind me," Beth informed her, the fear in her voice now replaced with something that sounded incredibly like petulance, "they told me to wait at the gates but I didn't think about it…I just knew it was the Governor."

"And you ran out of there?" Michonne snapped at the girl, turning to show the smaller woman the full extent of her rage at such idiocy and how it probably almost got Beth killed, "Get the _hell_ back to that prison right now before you get hurt."

Beth to her own credit only seemed to find her command insulting as her features tightened angrily and her arms crossed over her chest, looking the picture of someone who had finally gotten fed up with what was being thrown at her and was now very much prepared to take a stand.

It would have amused Michonne once upon a time, but now it just infuriated her, "Don't make me repeat myself," she told the girl, grabbing Beth's arm and tightening her hold on it, "Get going before I drag you there myself."

"I'm not leaving without you!" Beth retorted with a stamp of her foot, her features flushed in mixture of anger and embarrassment at being yelled at in such a way, "So it looks like you're going to_ have_ to drag me back there or let me come with you!"

Michonne didn't bother answering to that verbally, instead narrowing her eyes threateningly at the girl in front of her before gesturing back to the prison with another squeeze of Beth's arms, hoping more than anything it would be enough to shut down any other protests the Greene girl planned for her.

It didn't.

"Let me come with you," Beth pleaded one more time, her eyes shining with unshed tears as she wrenched her arm away from Michonne's grip, "I can help you and I promise to stay out the way, and if you get into trouble _I have your back_ so you won't get hurt."

Beth's words only made Michonne bite her lip and release the girl with an aggravated sigh, turning her back on Beth to stare directly ahead where she could just about make out the loose branches and trampled grass that signalled that someone indeed has just passed through here a few minutes ago but that wouldn't matter at all if Michonne didn't ditch Beth now to go after her prey right _now_.

She was so tempted, so tempted to leave Beth by herself and rush after the Governor with sword brandished and ready to take him down as slowly as possible until he could literally feel every single painful feeling of her slicing at him until he had no choice but to die, to _fucking die_ and bleed until Michonne was satisfied.

Michonne didn't think that day would come however, and how many times could she keep ripping him apart until there was nothing left? She couldn't piece him back together again and again just to rip him apart again and again, no matter how much she wanted to do so.

It wouldn't bring Andrea back, Michonne didn't have to be smart at all to know that, but it at least gave her something and right now that was what she needed now more than anything; something that mattered, something that would give her a purpose for this new world that had swallowed her whole.

She looked at Beth from over her shoulder again, the girl's words repeating in her head.

'_I'll have your back.'_

Andrea had had her back too before Michonne had left her, did Beth not think she would do so again? That she had become mentally stronger in being with Rick's group? All she had been guaranteed was some sense of safety, and even then that safety would one day leave until they were back on the road once again with nothing but uncertainty that greeted her each morning like an old friend.

Michonne closed her eyes and rubbed a hand over her face, "if you come with me you look after yourself, don't expect me to hold your hand in everything and if you come with me then…" She paused; her tongue feeling like it had grown several sizes too big for her mouth, "you might not be coming back."

At the large swallowing sound she received from the girl Michonne snorted and shook her head, "go back to the prison Beth, you'll be safer out there than you would be with me."

Beth met her eyes dead on, the look in them sending a cold chill down Michonne's spine as she took in the determined glint of the blonde girl staring right back at her before she took three long strides forward, stopping besides the warrior to stare at her briefly before she opened her mouth to speak, her voice small but not lacking in strength: "we need to go otherwise Karen and Daryl might catch up with us."

Michonne could only watch in wonder as Beth simply waited for her to keep moving forward, her brow creased as she tried her hardest to study the youngest Greene girl to try and figure out her motivation to even accompany her in the first place because to her it just didn't make a lick of sense on why the girl wanted to be with her anyway, especially when Michonne had practically promised Beth that she wouldn't be looking after her and that if she went with her now there was a good chance Beth wouldn't see the prison group and her family ever again.

It was a question that Michonne only asked the girl a few minutes in on their trek into the forest, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"I don't know," Beth admitted quietly to herself with a shrug, giving the warrior a small smile that didn't meet her eyes, "Maybe because I can always hear you talking in your sleep, you mutter things about Andrea all the time and…I don't think you should be on your own."

"You're not the one to decide that," Michonne snapped, her sudden curiosity merging instead to one of anger, "I've been fine on my own, I don't need you telling me…"

"You don't even say her name," Beth interrupted her, once again startling the warrior at how someone so soft spoken could make her feel like such a fool in a matter of moments without even trying, "Andrea wouldn't want you running off out of here by yourself, she would want you to come back to the prison and wait for the rest of us."

Michonne inwardly told her companion to go fuck herself with a sharp glare in Beth's direction, her eyes hard with a fury that had been there last when she had been walking out of Woodbury's gates with Andrea behind her and resentment and guilt curdling her stomach so violently that she thought she was going to be sick.

She knew that Beth had some truth in what she was saying; she knew that Andrea wouldn't have wanted her to bring Beth along, wouldn't have wanted her to risk herself just for revenge.

But Andrea was gone and with it Michonne felt as though her heart was gone too, so who cared what Andrea would have wanted? She didn't. She never had in the past (she had left her, _she had left her there, with him!_) so why start now? Andrea had been everything to her and yet she had left her behind like it was the easiest thing in the world.

She could feel Andrea's voice again, a flicker of hope that made Michonne look towards Beth once she caught sight of blonde locks and hear the sound of honey and thistle tickle her ears, deafening her with its lustrous sound and making her mouth water at the smell of dried sweat mixed with vanilla that had filled her with such desire so long ago that it had caused her shame.

"_You left me to rot there, you left me to die, and you left me as he filled me with his lies and his manipulation and his seed because you never said it, you never said it at all._"

Harsh words of honey and thistle and they did nothing but break Michonne's heart and caused her determination to make the man known as the Governor suffer even more.

"Come on," she called to Beth who had fallen behind to pick at something that looked to be wild-berries, "we need to keep moving."

* * *

**Part 3 coming soon, thank you all for the support and reviews given.**


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